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Post by aqua-armor on Feb 9, 2009 22:50:17 GMT -5
Sage and Aqua's story, we would love any suggestions but this is currently a collaboration between us. Originally written in 7th grade English class and now were extending and rewriting. What fun.
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Post by aqua-armor on Feb 9, 2009 23:07:56 GMT -5
THE BEAST- Original Story...
-------------------- Part 1
One night, of a full moon, an ordinary man went to a party. The music was loud, people were dancing, and the drinks kept coming. Before he knew it, he was knocked out. The next morning he awoke in his bed room and could not remember anything of what happened the night before. What happened at that party, we can not explain . . .
------------------- Part 2
Every night after the party at exactly mid-night he would get these urges to kill. . . He looked at people and would crave to taste their blood . . . the warmth of human flesh ripping from the bone. In the morning he would wake to find blood on his hands. This disturbed him beyond imagination. He became so scared he would lock himself in his room at night and tie himself to a bed post.
---------------- Part 3
After repeating this routine for a few nights he started seeing things. When he read the news paper, a book, a poster, anything with letters, the print would rearrange right before his eyes to reveal a secret message to him. The messages were like warnings; they would tell him his future. He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him, that he was going crazy from having to lock himself up at night. Until one day a message appeared about his death. It said he would die when the next full moon shone upon his skin.
---------------- Part 4
He went to the police they laughed at him at first, but when he explained the cravings, the blood, and the premonitions, they sent him to the Asylum. He asked and begged for a room without a window because of what the sign had said. Just to prove him wrong they put him in a sun room with huge windows that stretched from wall to wall. When the man saw this room he screamed and tired to get away. The workers of the Asylum caught him and locked him in the room
-------------- Part 5
That night at exactly mid-night the workers heard a deep-unearthly scream. When they arrived to the man's room they were to only find a puddle of blood and a skeleton of something not a man, but of a beast.
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-----1st rewrite of Part 1
The moon was exceptionally bright and full, it seeped down through the trees and dappled flecks of light onto the face of a man who just happened to be strolling underneath the branches. This man was just like any other ordinary man; he lived a quiet life in a small house on the outskirts of town. His name was Calvin. Calvin was new to this town and he enjoyed social events as much as the next guy. When the chance of going to a party came his way he took it eagerly. He wished to get to know the natives here more and the customs of this little town of Prodstrum. The scenery was nice; he hoped the people were just as charming. He arrived at his destination, 613 Poppy drive, you could hear the commotion from here. The drive was dark and quiet long. Had he not been a man of 23 he may have been hesitant setting off down the poorly lit path.
The house came into view and it was a beautiful old Victorian. The porch wrapped around the side and upon the roof stood pointed dormers. The upbeat music and warm glow was welcoming, Calvin knocked on the solid oak door. His acquaintance Mitch who had invited him to the house party answered the door. They exchanged casual greetings and Calvin entered the house. Music seemed to pouring out of everywhere, people seemed to pouring out of everywhere, and of course the drinks seemed to keep pouring down his throat. Calvin met a nice girl she just kept smiling, everybody was smiling and happy, who wouldn’t be at a party like this? She made sure he had enough to drink, how could he not when everyone was offering him drink after drink? She was a pretty girl, dark brown hair, all curled, bright green eyes and flashy eyelashes. Calvin couldn’t stop smiling right back, and when he stepped forward to ask her to dance he fell, and everything was black.
The next morning he awoke in his own bed with a horrible headache. He didn’t remember the rest of the party or how he had got there but he was here none the less. He got out of bed and went into the bathroom to wash his face. When he brought his face up the mirror he noticed something different... His eyes… they seemed brighter. Calvin told himself it must just be the lighting and left it at that.
Calvin Decided to call Mitch to thank him and maybe find out what happened last night… He dialed the number and the phone rang… and rang… and rang… After the 5th ring he finally hung up the phone. That was strange but then again he might still be sleeping after that party last night. He checked the clock to see what time it was. It was five o’clock; he’d slept the whole day! His stomached growled and reminded him he hadn’t eaten in while. He could go for about 3 cheeseburgers right now… or maybe some steak.
A knock at the door stopped his rummaging through the refrigerator. He looked up and there was Mitch standing outside of the screen door. He called him in and they both took a seat at the kitchen table. Calvin tells him what a lovely time he had at the party and asks who had brought him home. Mitch stares at him for a moment as though he was studying a new specimen and finally answers him. He tells Calvin that he had been partying too hard, drank a little too much, and he himself had driven him home. Mitch asked him how he was feeling and Calvin said he was just fine but he had quiet an appetite. Mitch smiled, gave a small laugh and said he should be off now. Calvin showed him to the door and went back to fixing his meal.
----ending as of now... That night at exactly mid-night the workers heard a deep-unearthly scream. When they arrived to Calvin’s room they were to only find a puddle of blood and a skeleton of something not a man, but of a beast.
What really happened at that party, we can not explain . . .
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Thinking about.....
-Possible name changes.... currently it's Calvin and Mitch
-Town Name.... Prodstrum
-Mysterious green eyed girl.... may need name... Annie?
-To have Dialogue or not to have?
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Post by Sagegrl on Feb 10, 2009 15:41:51 GMT -5
I guess this could be part 2 yuh?
btw elm drive? really? nightmare on elm street much? XD jk jk
Later that night Calvin felt extremely hungry again. Must be the effects of all that drinking he thought to his self. He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Nothing. He checked the freezer. A bag of old green beans and corn? Gross. He checked through some cabinets. When the hell is the last time he went to the store? Calvin sighed, muttered and set off to the grocery store.
He walked two blocks south to Travis’ Food mart, The local 24-hour store. He walked down the road, the street lights causing strange shadows in the dark. In this small town he could walk to a couple of the closer stores. He strolled into the store and grabbed a basket. It wasn’t crowded, but there were a few late night shoppers wandering around. He walked around the store collecting different foods to stock his house with. He watched the people go about their business as he stood in line for the check out behind one of those people with a seemingly endless amount of coupons. He looked down at his watch impatiently, 12:08. He was so hungry his stomach was growling. Must have been all the food in the store. What was the saying? Never go food shopping when you’re starving? He looked down at his overflowing basket. Guess the saying was right. He smiled as he watched a young woman ran off down an isle, her boyfriend chasing after her. He wondered thoughtlessly, what would human meat taste like? What would her meat taste like? Calvin gave a start at the thought. Why in the world would he wonder at a thing like that? His mouth got dry, and his throat was scratchy. He thought of the woman again. He was so thirsty. He licked his lips. He needed something to drink. How would her blood taste running over his tongue? The warmth of her flesh ripping from the bone. The wondrous sound of a screaming innocent and the beautiful silence that would follow. He was sweating and nervous. He started to fidget in the suddenly to warm store. What was wrong with him? He was brought out of his thoughts by the cashier. The old man had finished ringing up his purchases. Calvin paid, grabbed the bags and hurried out of the store. He had to get out of there.
As he made his way home, everyone he passed would just make his stomach growl. He wondered what each one would taste like. He was disgusted, yet entranced at the thought. He had to get home or he would go insane. He looked down at his feet to avoid looking at any people. By the time his house came in view he was running towards it.
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Post by aqua-armor on Feb 11, 2009 20:16:25 GMT -5
More to part 2:
Inside his house Calvin catches his breath. He must just be… tired, that’s it. He just needs sleep, that’s all. He prepares his feast he bought from the store. Calvin throws some chicken in the oven and paces the floor as it cooks… his stomach growls uncontrollably and he rips open a bag of chips. He begins devouring the bag but the chips are too salty, too dry. He can’t wait any longer he pulls the chicken out of the oven and eats that. It was only partially cooked but he didn’t care. It didn’t taste bad, so he quickly finished off his meal. He checked his watch again, 12; 49am. He quickly glanced back, Tuesday? Isn’t it Monday? He recollected back to the past few days. He went to the party Saturday night, slept all today and now that it’s past 12am. Shouldn’t it be Monday? Had he actually slept through to Monday? That would explain the hunger. At least he didn’t have to explain to a nagging boss of his absence. He was an author, the main reason he moved here, to get away from the busy city and have a quiet peaceful place to write his stories. With his hunger subsided he set off to bed. He felt tired after eating so much. The morning came and as the sun rose across the sky it shined in through his window. The bright light awoke Calvin from his sleep. He got up and his sheets were scattered across the bed. He raised hand to rub his eyes and he caught a glimpse of red smudges all over his arms and hands. He panicked and ran to the bathroom. He checked his body all over. It wasn't his blood, but then whose was it? He looked into the mirror and those bright icy blue eyes stared back. Whose eyes were those? They didn't belong to him; he didn't seem like himself... What was going on? Calvin washed up and went out to clear his head. This was just too freaky. He took some paths around his house and eventually ended up back at the town. He kept on walking and as he took a turn around the bend in the sidewalk he ran into the girl at the party. Calvin jumped but the girl just smiled at him, what was her name, Alex? Amy? Annie, that’s it. Calvin greeted her and she politely responded back but the way she smiled. It was like she knew something. As if she could see past his face. Calvin grew nervous and felt as if the blood was still plainly on his hands. She said she had to be going and told him to stay out of trouble. What was that supposed to mean? He assumed she meant his actions at the party but he couldn’t get the feeling that she knew something out of his head. Calvin ran out of town and back to his house. He went up stairs and locked himself inside his room. Sitting down at his desk he thought he would do some writing and try to calm down.
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